Mo' Muscles Mo' problems
by melted-ice617
Summary: Fry tries to buff up in an attempt to impress Leela, So he goes to another planet to train. However, unknown consequences follow him. This is still in progress and is my first fan fiction. It takes place around season 3-4. I wasn't sure how to write it, so I kind of merged a script and a story, It's alittle weird.
1. Chapter 1

Everyone is in the conference room except prof. Farnsworth and leela sitting and waiting. Suddenly Leela walks in with a bath robe and slippers on looking horrific.

Hermes: Great Canine of Kingston, Leela, you're a mess!

Amy: oh my glork Leela, what happened? You look like Ms. Frankenstein on a _bad_ day.

Leela: (sarcastically with a straight face) why hello everyone I'm doing fine thank you for asking.

She says while taking off her robe

Professor Farnsworth walks in

"good news everybody, I –AHHHH" he screams as papers fly everywhere

He re-adjust his glasses and said "oh leela, I thought you where some kind of one eyed monster."

Leela: *grunt* anyway, nibbler woke me up last night, he had pooped dark matter all over the apartment. I was up all night cleaning it up and I didn't even have time to get my boots on!

Bender: Then why'd you hit yourself in the face with'em

While leela grunts again amy quickly turns to the professor

Amy: So professor, what's the good news?

Prof. Farnsworth: The what? Ah, yes! I just got off the phone with our next clients, our next delivery was rescheduled until the next day later. This means you all have some free time and Leela can fix, uh, _that _situation.

Leela rolls her eye and exhales and Amy starts to motions Leela off

Amy: Come on Leela, I'll help you with your makeup

Leela is now looking her usual sifting through her locker with Amy sitting down reading a male model magazine. "huhhhhh… thanks for helping me Amy" she says and slams the door. She sits next to amy.

Leela: Good thing I keep a spare pair of boots in my locker

Fry comes in with hands in his windbreaker (jacket)

Fry: uh, hey Leela. I noticed you were tired in the conference room, so I got the address from this awesome coffee place around the corner. It's on your way to work too.

Leela: oh, thanks fry.

Fry starts looking on the ground and rubbing the tip of his shoe against

Fry: yeah, it's real fancy, free internet and everything. Maybe we could go there Thursday before work?

Leela: Oh, I'd love too, but I really have to get this whole poop thing with nibbler cleared up, ya know?

Fry: Oh…it- it's okay I understand.

Fry walks out the door while Amy glares at Leela.

Leela: what? Was it something I said?

Bender is outside of the locker room when fry comes through the door with a frown.

Bender: So meat bag, how'd it go?

Fry: she rejected me, again.

Bender: Oh that sucks. Well, time to go back in.

Fry: what!?

Bender: I left some booze in my locker, come on.

Fry: But, I just got rejected! Won't it be awkward?

Bender: Fry, have I ever let you down?

Fry: um…no? I mean yes, err probably?

Bender walks in and fry follows. Amy and Leela are busy eying a male model magazine

Amy: look at that one hubba hubba

Leela: Oooooh! Look at him! It says he was trained Martial arts in Japan for 5 years!

Amy: He could put me in a sleeper hold any day

Fry squints at the magazine and then his eyes light up.

Bender: alright, I got my stuff. Raided Amy's locker too you ready to- Ahh!

Fry pulls Bender out of the room

"woah…" bender says getting his balance "what was that all about jerk wad?"

Fry: That's it! I'll get all buff like those guys in the magazine! That'll make Leela love me!

Bender: that doesn't give you the right to drag me around. Stupid piece of (mumbles)


	2. Chapter 2

Fry and Bender are in the TV room sitting on the couch together

Bender: Well meat bag, lucky for you, I know a guy who can help you increase your strength. Here's his card

Fry looks at the card.

Fry:"Lacertosus, the pill for increasing strength in humans and other humanoid creatures." I don't know Bender, seems kind of shad-

Bender: Oh look, it's his commercial.

*commercial* have you ever felt inadequate as an organism, need to get stronger- but don't have the time or motivation to exercise? Try Lacertosus! Two pills a day will put you in the best shape of your life!

Fry: huh, not bad.

*commercial* Most Humans, Aliens, and Robots should not take Lacertosus. Known side effects include upset stomach, dry breath, mild death, blindness, massive heart attack, difficulty breathing, and rectal fungus. You may experience unpredictable paralysis and unconsciousness while taking Lacertosus. This is normal. Please stop taking Lacertosus immediately if you feel mild discomfort on or in testicles, as this can be a sign of a rare, fatal and extremely unpleasant side effect known as total scrotal implosion. There is no cure for the side effects of Lacertosus.

Lacertosus, the pill for you.

Bender: well…

Fry: seems legit to me, lets go!

Fry and bender walk inside this beat down store with cracked windows and flashing letters spelling "Lacertosus"

Fry walks up to a cashier with a huge burlap bag

Fry: One life time supply of Lacertosus please

Cashier: That would be 40 dollars sir.

Fry: 40 bucks!? That's ridiculous! Come on let's get out of here

Bender and fry leave the store and start walking down the street

Fry: Stupid Lacertosus, 40 dollars why I…hey, what's this?

Fry reads the paper and smiles

Fry: Hey Bender! Look at this! "Learn with the elites and become one yourself. Train in the Xercona galaxy to be in the best shape of your life. Men only." I'm a man! And it's only $39.99, think of all the money I save!

Bender: What was that?

Fry: I'll pack my bags now!

Fry is now in workout clothes walking onto a commercial space craft. "Goodbye!" he says waving his brief cases toward bender.

Bender: whatever jerk wad

Fry sits down and watches out the window as the plain takes off. He lies in his seat and falls asleep until he is woken up by somebody giving him some goggles and a backpack. "Wait what are we doing? Who's piloting the ship?" he looks forward and sees people jumping off.

Pilot: we're parachuting down

Fry puts on his goggles and back pack while talking

Fry: But, what about our bags?

Pilot: You won't need them here.

Fry gets to the edge of the ship and looks down

Fry: Wait, I don't know how to para- AHHHHHHHHHHHH

The pilot had pushed him off. Fry stopped panicking for a second and pulled his strings. He started floating down at a steady pace.

Fry: huh, this isn't so ba-

He got hit by a tree branch, then another, and more until he slammed onto the ground. When he stood up, a drill sergeant was looking him in the eyes. He took off his goggles and parachute quickly

Drill sergeant: And why are you here private.

Fry: too um, g-get fit sir.

Drill sergeant: Why

Fry: (rubbing his neck) well uh, there's this girl I like named Leela, and she's smart, and-

Drill sergeant: THAT IS ENOUGH PRIVATE! From now on you will not speak, until directly told to speak! DO I MAKE MYSELF CLEAR!

Fry opens his mouth, then closes and nods.

Drill sergeant: Good… Now let's start with a good 5 mile run

Fry's jaw drops

Drill sergeant: Come on men, let's go!

Fry starts jogging with tons of men from earth along with many other different planets and forms, all in pretty good shape. At the end, tons of people are tired and panting, fry is passed out on the ground.

Drill sergeant: nice, that was a good WARM UP! Now for the workout. We'll start light on you, 40 PUSHUPS, NOW!

Fry put on the most exhausted face ever. He did two pushups and collapsed on the ground

Drill sergeant: Anyone who doesn't think they can handle it should leave now, there's a ship ready for you.

Fry got on to his knees painfully until a picture fell out of his pocket. It was a picture of Leela smiling. He picked it up, stared at it, and realized he had to do this to win Leela's heart. He put on a straight face and started doing push ups.


	3. Chapter 3

10 years later

Fry is in a Karate Gi on top of a yoga mat with many other fit men standing on yoga mats doing synchronized punches, kicks, and jumping combos in the air.

Drill Sergeant: Phillip J Fry!

Fry stood straight and stopped moving

Drill Sergeant: the master would like to speak with you…

Fry rolled up his mat quickly and walked over.

Fry then entered a tent. The master sat with crossed legs with a small table infront of him with two candles on it. He looked similar to Leela's master Phong, but purple, with a more circular head that lacked side burns, but had a long white mustache with a small goatee, and more squint in his eyes. He wore a Karate Gi

Master: Ahh, be seated my child

Fry kneels in front of the master's table

Master: your training is nearly complete, how do you feel?

Fry stayed silent with a straight face.

Master: Oh yes, you are allowed to speak

Fry: Master, I am enlightened by the way I've been molded, yet humbled by what more I will learn

Master: Good answer, how long did it take you to think of that?

Fry: Actually, it only took me last meditation block, pretty good ay?

Master: Huh. Anyway you are going back to your home planet, earth, before completing your final stage of training. The suitcase you left when you parachuted down all those years ago is right outside of the mess hall, where there is a space craft waiting for your arrival. Here take this blank sticker (fry takes the sticker) you put it on your arm and we will be able contact you. Also, remember, your full loyalty belongs to me. Do I make myself clear?

Fry nods and the master nods back at him. Fry then walks out of the tent and is next seen parachuting next to the Planet Express building in his normal attire.

Fry: Nailed it! (He yells upward) YOU CAN LET DOWN MY BAGS NOW!

Fry yelps in pain as a suit case falls on his head.

The Planet Express crew is in the conference room when Fry bursts back in

Fry: Guys! I'm back! After 10 long years I'm back!

Leela: What are you talking about, you've only been gone for a day and a half.

Fry: But, I went training in the Xercona galaxy!

Prof. Farnsworth: Xercona galaxy you say? Why over there, time is experienced almost 4000 times longer than it is here.

Fry: So my years of training…they didn't count?

Prof. Farnsworth: Technically, no, they didn't.

Fry: What… Eh, at least I didn't age much.

Prof. Farnsworth: and you're here just in time to make your delivery! Get going now.

Fry: Okay let me just get some coffee, I'm tired from the flight.

Fry starts to pour himself some coffee when the cup turns and spills coffee on his shirt. "Great," fry says "now this too!" He starts to take off his shirt and everyone's eyes widen.

Hermes: Mother of Malaysia...

Bender: Fry, you're-

Zoidberg: A stud!

Fry looks down to see his fantastic upper body. "cool, my muscles are still there!"

Prof. Farnsworth: Of course! Even though the time wasn't as long as perceived, you still retained your results!

Amy: and results they where!

Fry: well, let me go get a new shirt before the-

Leela: Oh no no no, not enough time, we have to go now!

Prof. Farnsworth: Actually Leela-

Leela: Professor, don't you have something important to do with Amy?

Prof. Farnsworth: Whaaa…?

Leela: You heard him Amy, you can't make this delivery, looks like it'll be just me, Bender, and…_Fry_ again.

Amy mumbles something in Cantonese before walking out.

On the planet express ship, Leela and Bender are just staring at the still shirtless Fry.

Fry: Uh, Leela, shouldn't you be piloting the ship?

Leela: (very confused) ship?

All of a sudden there is a huge crash and a bunch of pirate dressed aliens start climbing onto the ship.

Leela: space pirates, again!

They flood in and Leela starts taking them down one move at a time, eventually taking a second to look over at Fry. Fry is going almost twice as fast, flipping and kicking and punching space pirates all over the place.

Leela: Wow, they taught you martial arts too?

"Yeah." Fry says while continuing to fight "In fact, 7 types. Including Shaolin Lotus kung fu." Leela grasps her hands together "Impressive!" she says right before knocking a space pirate out from behind her.

Back at the planet express building everyone is sitting while Fry is telling them something in his normal attire.

Fry: I saw many men leave, all more qualified to be there then me. But every time I got close to leaving, I just look at my picture of Leela, and it kept me going.

Leela: Aww, that' so sweet! In fact, it'd probably be twice as sweet if you said it with less clothes on.

Fry: That reminds me, Leela, can I ask you something in the hallway

Fry walks in to the hallway, Leela looks back and Amy winks at her from the Conference table.

Fry: So, um, Leela.

Fry puts on a shy posture, rubbing his (covered) tricep.

Fry: I was just wondering about that coffee Thursday. I know you said no but uh, I was wondering if-

Leela: I'd love to!

Fry: But, what about the nibbler situation?

Leela: Nibbler situation? Oh yeah, I think he can holdout.

Fry: well then…Awesome!

There's a small awkward silence ended by a buzzing sound.

Fry: excuse me.

Fry walks into another hallway and pulls up his sleeve. His arm has a screen that says "Call from: Master Accept/Deny" where the sticker should be. Fry presses accept.

Master: My student, how are you at your home planet? Doing well I assume?

Fry: You assume correct master. Err, I think so.

Master: Anyway, remember how I told you you're full loyalty belongs to me, (Fry nods) well I need a doomsday device big enough to destroy your planet, no questions asked. I need you to steal me one.

Fry: Sure, the professor has tons. I'm sure he wouldn't notice if one was missing.

Master: Great. We can move on with plan Zeta sooner than previously expected, to destroy earth.

Fry: What!?


	4. Chapter 4

Fry: But… why!?

Master: You see Fry; this planet is completely for the advancement, improvement, and physical performance of all species. Every few generations, we destroy a planet to show our supremacy. We'll be landing on earth in 20 years, which is just over 2½ days in that galaxy. Now, no more questions.

Fry: But there are plenty of other planets that-

Master: I said no more questions! My child, remember where your loyalty lies. Do I make myself clear?

Fry was silent for a second and then replied.

Fry: Yes Master, I remember where my loyalty lies…and it's with earth. I won't give you the doomsday machine.

Fry made a triumphant face and the master was angry for a second, then he relaxed and sighed.

Master: It is my fault. I knew you had a willed spirit, I should've chosen someone that changes their loyalty easier. Never mind then, we'll just have to kill everybody one by one. Good bye.

The sticker went black and Fry's jaw dropped. This is not what he wanted at all.

Later on, Fry is seen at a coffee shop with Leela, both with beverages by a window seet

Leela: So it turns out Nibbler had gotten loose when I was out and had a huge meal at the zoo. The vet said I shouldn't see anything like this again as long as I-

Leela noticed Fry was being awfully quiet and staring out the window

Leela: Fry, are you okay?

Fry: Oh- um, yeah I'm fine.

Leela: Fry…

Fry: …it's not that bad, I don't want to worry you.

Leela: You're hot, aren't you? Why don't you take that pesky shirt off?

Fry: No, it's not that, I- I just don't want to tell you.

Leela put her hand on Fry's

Leela: Fry, you can tell me anything.

Fry: … you…you promise to be calm about it. No screaming or anything?

Leela: I promise.

Fry: Remember that planet I trained on that I told you about? (Leela nodded) They want to destroy earth. One by one.

Leela: THEY WANT TO WHA-

Fry covered her mouth quickly

Fry: Shhh Shhh Shhh! I told you not to scream!

Fry took his hand off and Leela's mouth and she started to breathe heavily

Leela: We-we have to tell someone!

Fry: Leela, this is a planet full of trained people in way better shape than the average man. We come back to earth in an almost unnoticeable amount of time and resume our lives inconspicuously. We are everywhere, roaming the earth without identification. Any sane person with the smallest bit of intelligence would try to get out as soon as possible.

Leela: Then we'll just have to go to the craziest idiot in the universe.

Zapp Brannigan is in his captain's chair with two large soldiers at his left and right when Kif comes in.

Kif: Sir, three visitors request a meeting with you.

Zapp: Let them in solider. And make it snappy, would ya?

Kif sighed and left. When he came back in, Leela, Bender, and Fry where behind him.

Zapp: Turunga Leela, an unexpected visit I see. Spontaneous, I like it! Almost as spontaneous as the first time we crossed paths.

Bender: I think he's talking about when you slept with him.

Leela rolled her eye

Fry: Sir, I come to you with urgent news, or…something like that. In a few days, earth will be under attack by a planet of strong people and non people too. We need your help.

Zapp: I see. Kif, set coordinates for, far away from earth.

Leela: You're not going to help us!

Zapp: Oh we will, just from a safe and distant location. You know Leela, you can stay here as long as you'd like; we could share a very sexual twin bed.

Leela: Uh, I think I'd rather die!

Zapp: Just to be clear, that is precisely the decision you're making.

Fry: But, it's not even for a good reason, they just want to kill us to show their supremacy! Whatever that means!

Zapp squinted

Zapp: Kill others to show supremacy. That's my job! Kif we are taking immediate action, to the conference room! And for god sakes turn a fan on Kif, it's getting stuffy.

Zapp left. Kif Sighed and followed him. The soldiers that were at Zapp's sides stared at fry.

Solider 1: Great Idea sir.

Solider 2: Simply genius sir.

Fry: What?

Solider 1: This way, the master doesn't have to contact everyone, Zapp will tell the soldiers about the mission and our brothers in the army will already know to sabotage the weapons.

Solider 2: You probably don't recognize us, but we're the ones who piloted you back to earth. When we saw you we knew you'd be doing something to help the cause.

Leela leaned over and whispered to Fry.

Leela: okay, scratch the idiot part, let's just go to the most insane person we know.

Fry and Leela are now in the Lab at planet express head quarters. The professor is looking through the microscope and the others are around him.

Prof. Farnsworth: ahh, interesting.

Leela: What is it?

Prof. Farnsworth: Fry's Muscles emit a type of Xercona galaxy radiation; probably, because of how much they changed while over there

Bender: What about it?

Prof. Farnsworth: Potentially, I could re-program one of my doomsday devices to emit a gas that would invade the internal body and annihilate anything that emits this energy, thus destroying the attacker's muscles and leaving them dead in minutes!

Everyone started cheering until Amy spoke up.

Amy: But, what about Fry? His body emits that radiation too.

Prof. Farnsworth: Ah yes. Fry since your body emits the same radiation; your muscles will be vaporized as well. It is either you, or humanity.


	5. Chapter 5

Zoidberg: Wait, why don't we just bring Fry to another planet?

Prof Farnsworth: Ah yes, good idea Zoidberg! Leela, ready the ship!

Zoidberg: Yay, I'm helpful!

*TV*: We interrupt your miserable useless lives for this earth broadcast.

Bender: Hey jerkwads, there's something on TV.

*TV*: Earth is going to be under attack by a planet of super strong men tomorrow. Currently we are with Zapp Brannigan preparing the DOOP forces for war.

Zapp: We are taking as many precautions as possible so that when these men come, we're ready. Unfortunately our top weapons mechanics have been mysteriously beaten to death, so I hired these really buff guys I've never met to take their place.

Fry slapped his forehead

Zapp: I will be giving the men commands from a rather large distance, while my lieutenant Kif Kroker will be in the front of the front lines.

Amy: Kif!

Zapp: Also, our new mechanics made an impenetrable wall that won't let anyone out. So once those guys are in, there'll be no escape.

Everyone looked at Zoidberg and he sighed "uww…"

Prof. Farnsworth: Looks like there won't be any escaping. And well, since I used your muscle fragments to find the radiation Fry, I see no better option than to give you the decision of using the device.

Leela: Forget it, he won't do it!

Amy: He has to! For my Kiffy!

Leela: You little-

Fry: No Leela, it's my decision, and I have to do what's right for humanity!

Leela was silent for a moment; then ran out crying.

Fry stuck his hand out and cried "wait!", but it was too late.

Prof. Farnsworth: well fry, you have until tomorrow, I suggest you get some sleep.

The next morning, Fry was on the couch sitting down with the TV off, and a few cans of slurm soon bender came in.

Bender: You know meat bag, you don't have to do it…

Fry: of course I do Bender. I can't sacrifice my own needs for everyone else.

Bender: Come on, you live, and they kill all humans, what's the downside here?

Fry: You're a robot Bender, you wouldn't understand.

Bender put on a really sad face

Bender: Fry, I just want you to know you are and always will be my best friend.

Bender walked out when Amy walked in. Amy looked at Bender for a second. Bender stared back and snapped "what are you lookin' at!" and walked off.

Amy: Fry, I'm sorry about the whole 'save Kif' thing last night, it was really selfish of me.

Fry: It's okay, I understand. You love Kif, and would do anything to protect him.

Fry looked at his slurm "I can relate."

Amy: Thanks. You know Fry, I know you're under a lot of pressure right now, and I just want you to know we all support whatever choice you make.

Amy kissed him on his head and left.

Fry fell asleep and was woken up by the professor.

Fry: Huh? Professor, what is it?

Prof. Farnsworth: I made a communicator in case you want to make up your mind at the last minute.

Fry: oh thanks.

Prof. Farnsworth sat down.

Prof. Farnsworth: You know, one time I had to choose myself or humanity

Fry: really? What'd you choose?

Prof. Farnsworth: What!?

Fry: did you choose yourself or humanity

Prof. Farnsworth: Myself or humanity? I could never make such a choice! The stress alone would kill me.

Hermes walked in

Hermes: Excuse me professor, can I speak with Fry alone?

Prof. Farnsworth: You can try, but he's speaking madness now.

Prof. Farnsworth leaves and Hermes takes his spot on the couch

Hermes: Here Fry, it's your resignation check. I figure I'd give it to you in case you kill yourself.

Fry: Wow, really?!

Hermes: It's the least I could do, your saving humanity and all.

Fry: Thanks Hermes. It really means a lot to me.

Hermes: Don't mention it…Oh yes, and Zoidberg wanted to say something, should I let him in?

Fry: Ehh, I'm good.

Hermes was about to walk out when fry called out "Wait!" Hermes turned and looked

Fry: Can I still use the check if I don't die?

Hermes: Hell no!

Later Fry is seen on the balcony of Planet express. Leela comes from behind him. Fry turns and looks at her.

Fry: Oh, hey Leela.

Leela: Fry, I want you to know I'm sorry for trying to make that decision for you last night. I…I don't want to lose you…

Fry: It's alright Leela…you should probably know that the invaders are coming soon.

Leela: how do you know?

Fry: My master sent me a message. He's using my stickers GPS system to track my location, he'll be landing in our area in a few minutes.

Leela: Did you tell the others?!

Fry: Just the professor. But I can tell you anything remember?

Leela smiled.

Leela: Fry, whether you decide to die or not, let me spend these next few moments with you.

Fry smiled and opened his arms while Leela went inside them.

Fry: You want me to take my shirt off? It's just a hunch, but it seems like you like it better that way.

Leela: It's okay Fry, your perfect the way you are.

Fry and Leela stare at the sunset for a little before a space ship comes down and lands down the street. Strong men in Karate Gis come out of the ship.

Kif: Ready… FIRE!

There are many clicking noises, yet no ammunition comes out of the weapons. Kif looks at his watch and calls Zapp Brannigan.

Kif: Sir, all of our weapons are malfunctioning.

Zapp: Hmm, someone must have jammed them before the fight. It must've been someone with complete access to the artillery. I've got my eye on you Kif…

The watch blacked out before Kif let out a huge sigh. Meanwhile, Prof. Farnsworth calls Fry on the walkie talkie.

Prof. Farnsworth: The enemy is in place, do you want to proceed?

Fry looked at Leela and picked up his walkie talkie

Fry: proceed as planned.

To Be Continued…


End file.
